I strongly recommend that everyone visit the page and check it out.
The article describes a study, undertaken by experts at Heriot Watt University, to determine the effects of viewing Romantic Comedies on real life relationships. Please see the article itself if you wish to see how the experiment was conducted, on my blog I am only going to discuss the results.
I will start with a disclaimer; I enjoy romantic comedies and am not in any way trying to attack the film niche! I am one of those (rare?) men that actively watches comedic romances and even regularly chooses them for personal viewing over different genres. I have, however, often pondered what the effect of all these "happily ever after" stories was on myself and others.
The answers just might now be coming and the results are not good. The BBC article details that people, particularly couples, that regularly watch Romantic Comedies often have unrealistic expectations. According to Dr. Bjarne Holmes, "Marriage counselors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.
"We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds.
"The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realize."
To paraphrase Dr. Holmes, Disney endings can create unrealistic expectations in viewers that are then placed on relationships and partners.
It is my humble opinion that we make our lives happy, not fate, predestined love, or our respective significant others. Finding someone special to share our lives with can be one of the most rewarding endeavors of our lives, but thinking that said relationship or person will magically provide us with permanent happiness is an illusion. A good relationship isn't flowers and incredible sex every day, its love through the ins and outs of real life. In the physical world we live in people get tired, sick, grumpy, hungry, hurt, and impatient. A real relationship is one that understands that romance, although wonderful, HAS to take a back door to the necessities of life. Romance shouldn't be allowed to die in any relationship, but bills must be paid, food put on the table, shelter obtained, illnesses treated, children cared for etc... before the flowers, chocolates, sex, and intimate conversations.
Each of us is a real human being, not a character in a Disney production or Drew Barrymore flick. Although these movies can temporarily--and gratefully--lift our spirits, we need to recognize the difference between a ninety minute movie and a seventy-five year life. When the movie ends the story is complete. In real life we get out of our seats, leave the the theater, and go home to do the dishes and take out the garbage. That doesn't mean we can't have or find real love or happiness, it simply means we have to keep our expectations of love, and life, in perspective.
I hope we all find real love... and have the brains to recognize the real thing.
Cheers!
Kory
Dear Mr. Baldwin,
ReplyDeleteI think you make some excellent points on this essay about Romantic Comedies vs. Actual relationships. A wise man once told me that in a relationship, it's not always going to be perfect, he calls this the "90% Talk". He told me that just because two people are madly in love doesn't mean that they are magically going to have awesome sex every night, and never fight and have a perfect house, and so on and so forth. A couple can have a relationship that's 90% perfect, and both ends can work long and hard to make the relationship better, but all of the effort is only going to make things slightly better, almost not even worth the effort. If things are 90% out of 100%, that's pretty damn good. That means they are pretty happy, they just may have a couple differences, which is great! That's what keeps the relationship interesting and fun. And if things were perfect all the time and real life was like the movies, we would take all the wonderful times we share with our significant other for granted. Anyway, I'm in a great relationship with this guy. And sure we have our moments when things are a little rough, but we talk them out and feel better afterwords. My boyfriend is really an amazing guy, you actually remind me a lot of him in this blog. He's always telling me that he's so lucky to have me in his life, when really it's ME who feels like the luckiest woman alive to have found such an incredible man. I truly love him with all of my heart. Your girlfriend must think the world of you! She is a very lucky woman indeed! Anyway, Happy Holidays Mr. Baldwin. I love you!
Love Always,
~)*(~ Michelle ~)*(~
WOW! I love this posting! I think it is so true, we grow up watching Jill and Tim from Home Improvement and just think that is how it we will be when we get married. I really liked hearing your opinion and point of view. Keep up the excellent post's!
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