It's no secret that I have a love/hate relationship with social media, yet I frequently use sites like Blogger, Facebook, and Google+. On the "love" side the convenience is unchallenged; I can communicate with almost anyone from my past without difficulty in a matter of moments. Even better, I can see how loved ones near and far are doing as well as get updates on their daily lives.
But is that really the case?
And thus the "hate" side of the relationship comes out to play. When I look at a friend's Facebook profile and then compare their online persona to what I know to be true on a personal level, the incongruencies are often flagrant. Now, I by no means feel that every person using social media is a faker, but most of us certainly use these social tools to at least reinforce, if not altogether create, a picture of us that is somehow "more" or, at least in some ways, "better" than the real person.
Lord knows I do. I do it all the time.
Confession: I absolutely do use my FaceBook profile and other social media websites to create an image of me that I feel is more palatable, more appealing, more...acceptable than the real me. And sometimes I just want to punch myself for doing it.
Take a gander at me on Facebook. My profile is full of pictures of me where, generally, I look good, happy, and wholesome; the Disney version of Kory Baldwin. In other words, all the times I cried in the car, the times I lost my temper, the things I said I wish I hadn't...well, they don't "make the cut."
And I see it everywhere. "Just made home-made chocolate chip Cookies!!!" says the young LDS, Baptist, (what-have-you) mom with two small kids. Did she really make cookies? I'm sure she did. Did she share that little tidbit with multiple exclamation points just because she is so enamored with adding chocolate chunks to batter that she has to share it with the world? Honestly...probably not.
So, dear reader, what exactly is the motivation behind the post? And couldn't there possibly be more than one? I would say that is absolutely the case. As Patrik pointed out in the comments, she may be using FB as a digital journal. She may be so thrilled to do something for her kids that makes them happy she just wants to express it.
What other motivations might be going on behind that post? Something sinister? Almost certainly not. But is an image being cultivated? Sure. Is approval or assurance being sought? Most likely. And thus the post is likely also saying "Hey, look at me! I'm being a really good mom and doing "mom" things. I posted this at 3:15 on a Tuesday which shows I'm an at-home mom, as I ought to be. Also, I know how to bake...which implies I'm also a cook. Lastly, by baking made-from-scratch cookies you can see how much I enjoy being a homemaker and how much I take pride in it. Cuz...that's what good moms do."
Confession again: I'm no better and do the exact same...without cookies, that is. ;) My cultivated social media image may be very different, but image, not always reality, it certainly is. Look at my last ten status updates on my Facebook profile. Summed up, they are hardly more than inane chatter covering little more than movies/TV shows Michelle and I like, a restaurant, and idle chitchat with friends. Look at my photos, my Info section, my posts on others' walls and comments on their photos; more than 99% of them are positive, politically correct, and upbeat.
"But isn't being positive and upbeat a good thing?" you might say? Sure! Of course! But..is it really me? Am I positive, upbeat, and (haha) politically correct more than 99% of the time? Nope. In fact, I'm genuinely one of the most positive, naturally happy people I know and I don't come CLOSE to 99% of those things.
And thus you see the image of Kory Baldwin on my FB and Google+ profiles, not the real Kory Baldwin. I don't think this makes me bad or even a liar, nor do I think that of others. I just get tired of the charade, of using the closest thing to an open mic in my life to spew out things my Sunday School teachers would approve of rather than share anything truly meaningful to me. Doing so would just be too risky...I'll damage my "image."
